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Sep. 4th, 2007

Bad Dragon!Sue

Fourth wall my arse

So I woke up, got the hatchlings out the door to school, and finally get back in front of the computer to sit down and check mail.  I have a horrific stone in my mailbox that someone threw at me.  Yeah, sorry, not around much.  Too much DnD, and not enough hours in the day.   Thanks to those wonderful flamers, my job just got even easier.  Now, if only the flamers would raise my hatchlings. 



CrapStory:  A Nerd and A Mage

SueAuthor: SoundzofSilence

Summary: A girl, stuck at home, dreams of visiting Krynn and her all time favorite person there. A kender appears in her room that night and Thereasa grabs the opportunity of a life time.

Chapter Length:  eight

Rating:

Sue(s)/Stu(s):  Thereasa

Appearance:    

Possessions:     “a small gray backpack, four bags of chips, a blue pixie stix, a can of Sprite, and seven packets of orange crackers and cheese. Toothbrush, toothpaste, a crossword puzzle book, two gel pens, a pencil, a pencil sharpener, an iPod, two books, and a water bottle with red food coloring.”  And then  Raistlin’s Autograph (He stole her pen.)

Origin:  The real world!

Abilities:   To match wits with Raistlin Majere.

Reason for the Crap Story:     To destroy the Fourth wall.

Notes:  Misspelling Handkerchief, necessary, and many other words, lack of Capitalization, and skills staring through iron bars..... 

My Synopsis:     Wow, starts off slower than molasses; damn sure!  So there goes the fourth wall when Thereasa suddenly has a Kender in her room.  After all, no elf or killer can sneak up on her! Anyways, he’s only a quarter Elf and Gnome, and Half Kender.  The Kender, having a magical travel device, ends up in her room, and asks her to come with him.  After a moment of panic, she agrees. 

 

So the Sue travels with the Kender/Gnome/Elf, and they are in Raislin’s tower.  She knows this is where evil mages live and has the Kender go create a diversion, after stealing the travel device.  So she runs around and hides behind a couch, where Dalamar finds her.  Well they get into fight, and she throws stuff in his direction, but he hits her with a spell anyways.  Should have used a fireball first, Dalamar! 

 

So some Kender shit happens, and now she and Raistlin are best buddies, and he borrows books from her, and she from him; and apparently our favourite golden mage is an author of sorts.  So far this is completely pointless, with Sue there acting like she’s the center of attention.  In all honesty, they are both to calm for this, and Raistlin would never have let her roam free of the dungeons.  He also wouldn’t go with her, wherever she was going, unless he knew what was going on.  He certainly wouldn’t be attracted to her because she can insult him like a Kender, and all things rot in his vision. 
 

 

 

Sample:  

Aug. 3rd, 2007

Necrophilia

(no subject)

CrapStory:  The Return

SueAuthor:  Mage and Knight

Summary: A certain red robed mage joins the Companions while they eat at the Forestmaster’s table. Rated K. No slash.

Chapter Length:  1 (so far, it is TBC)

Rating: 

Sue(s)/Stu(s):  Bethany and Sabrina

Appearance:     don’t know, don’t care

Possessions:    

Origin:  Real world

Abilities:   

Reason for the Crap Story:    To kill me slowly.  *Grinds eyeballs out with spork*  

Notes:  It’s just like the books I read!  Okay these wanks uploaded 7 stories, and there seems to be an issue, because the SEVEN separate stories, appear to be CHAPTERS OF THE SAME STORY!  RAWR!    

My Synopsis:     I am getting annoyed.  They are attempting to be secretive with Sabrina’s looks, and failing.  Or is it Bethany’s?  I’m confused!

  Let's forget the fact that they have to rewrite the fucking books with their sues! Fuck it, I’m sporking! MiST style!

 

 

Sample:  

Jul. 3rd, 2007

BloodyGood

Days Gone to the Abyss

CrapStory:  Days Gone By 

SueAuthor:  Yuffie Kisaragi123

Summary: All things happen for a reason... Reasons that even the Gods themselves understand. Why would fate chose a 15 year old girl with a mysterious past that not even she can recall? Rating might go up... Major OC 

Chapter Length:  1

Rating: 

Sue(s)/Stu(s):  Cain The monster!

Appearance:     Brown hair. 

Possessions:     unknown

Origin:  United States, then to the Abyss, and now she has been unleashed upon Solace (There goes the tranquility of the town!).

Abilities:    Auto-knowledge!

Reason for the Crap Story:    

Notes:  Fear!  She cannot spell disappear to save her life.  Also the Suethor has issues with the tenses. 

My Synopsis:     She gets up, goes to school and asks her best friend Frey (He’s a guy) out on a date.  So with that done she goes home after school and has some family time with her dad.  Then goes to bed, falling asleep reading (Dun Dun DUUUUN!) The Dragonlance Novel, Dragons of Autumn Twilight! She has the hots for Raistlin!

She suddenly has a dream that she was raped when she was younger, but it was so traumatizing she forgot about it.  Anyways, she wakes and goes towards the kitchen, where she hears Mommy and Daddy talking about what happened when she was ten years old.  Suddenly she remembers everything and passes out! 

After passing out, she is suddenly in the Abyss and Takahisis screams in rage at the demon unleashed in her realm.  But an Elf Man and some woman show in the Abyss who decide to terrorize Krynn by sending her there, because they can’t send her back home in the state she is in.  She wakes up in Solace, in full plate armour.  She knows exactly when she was thrust into solace. 

End there! Yeah, craptastic. 

Sample:  

Jun. 21st, 2007

WhatDidITellYou

(no subject)

CrapStory:  The Wrong Time and Place 

SueAuthor:  SqueakyDragon

Summary: Raistlin, though he'll never admit it, messes up the time travel spell. Now he, Caramon, and Crysania are in a different world entirely. Can they get back to their right time and place?

Chapter Length:  1

Rating: 

Sue(s)/Stu(s):  Laura

Appearance:   Umm, wheat color hair that supposedly hides the back of her coat. 

Possessions:   An artist studio, Raistlin, Caramon and Crysania. 

Origin:  “In North Chicago … Illinois, In the United States of America, On North America, Earth!?”

Abilities:  She can paint, and stay really calm when a bunch of Cos players invade her studio. 

Reason for the Crap Story:    To give readers a concussion from head desking too much?

Notes: Have pillow in direction of headwalling. 

My Synopsis:     So Raistlin casts his time travel spell (What?) and falls into some chicks paint studio.  Not that when she walks through the door, and sees Crysania, Caramon (Waving his sword around no less), and Raistlin; she doesn’t bother freaking out and calling the police.  She assumes it is a joke and lets them hang out.  Well, her boss didn’t know the Heroes, and he didn’t send them in for a prank, so she offers to take them to her apartment!  (What?!)

 

Okay if there was a Caramon in my artist studio, waving a sword around, I wouldn’t be offering to bring them home with me on my lunch break.  I would be calling the funny farm and be asking if they lost anyone; three nuts: two handsome men (that I wouldn’t mind sacking) and a lovely pale lady with raven hair (that I wouldn’t mind sacking). 

 

So, all in all, Laura is very trusting and naive when it comes to trusting people.  This Sue makes me glad reality is not like this. 

 

 

Sample: 

Jun. 13th, 2007

BloodyGood

(no subject)

CrapStory:    Less Than You Deserve

SueAuthor:  booishy

Summary: Raistlin Majere has been a solid antisocial stone and castaway ever since he chose the black robe over the red. Is this changable?

Chapter Length:  2, so far

Rating: 

Sue(s)/Stu(s):  Farahel, who is Dalamar’s dark elf sister! Minos, Raistlin’s new apprentice since Dalamar isn’t around anymore. 

Appearance:   Her face was beautifully pale and her eyes were without colour, grey as stone and long black hair was flowing out from her hood. She was a dark elf.

Possessions:   Eyes without colour! Even if they are grey. 

Origin:  Silvanesti, or the abyss one

Abilities:  Be just like her big brother!

Reason for the Crap Story:    Torture Raistlin.

Notes: Erk!

My Synopsis:    Nothing much so far.  Just lots of craptastic meetings.  Minos, the timid dark mage.  Far-fetched-she-elf suddenly looking beautiful, and not aging in Raistlin’s eyes.  Yeah great, I think even in Raist’s vision, very few elves fail to decay.   

 

Anyways, the She-elf (Yeah, can’t call her an elf or anything) wants to be his apprentice.  Not that he already has one.  And Sorry to break this to her, but Dalamar would never leave his Shalafi’s side; turn against him and kill him, sure!  But Dalamar wouldn’t leave the poor bastard.   (Whoa, that sounded so Yaoish.  Not intended!) 

 

And that is where it leaves off.   Her asking to be his apprentice.  Fireball the bitch!  Now Raistlin!  While you still have a chance!.   Eh, I tried.  That and the prose and grammar are rather lacking.  I was going to give it a two, but I thought, with this sentence “They were deep as bottomless ponds. He saw beauty, age, wisdom, but also pain and loneliness. As if she knew what he was thinking,” it’s a three. 

 

 

Sample: 

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